Nervous at the beginning: At the beginning I thought I wouldn’t be able to do peer-to-peer research for starters, that I wasn’t good enough for it, you know you hear UCC and lecturers and that a counsellor was going to be there, what’s happening. That’s the way I felt, it was a bit confusing at the start but then when we all kind of gathered stories, every one of us gave our stories and I think it was then that it kind of started.

Making connections with the research team through sharing our own ‘turning points’ in life : Well, as we say from all our stories, I think we felt for each other on all our stories. I think it was great you were so open, I was amazed by that part and I’m not laughing in a bad way but I was amazed because it brought back a lot for me too, I was affected by everybody’s stories, so there was stuff that came up for me too and I think that’s where the project started for the whole lot of us.

Learning new skills: When I did the interviews, before I started I was like ‘Jesus, don’t ask me to do it because that was going out of my comfort zone and I thought I’d never get to the end of that interview. I didn’t even think I could get to the start of it, I tried to brush that off as much as I could. I would sooner have someone else do it for me and when I was asking for consent and things like that. However, it couldn’t get any better, I’d say. Like that for me now doing the interviews, I got to learn a lot from each interview and that’s why I’d keep doing it, there are some stories in each one that I could relate to and I also found each and every one of them interesting, I was learning new things.

Connecting places with memories and emotions while making the walking maps: Looking at a photograph, it brings back memories. On writing, it didn’t make much sense, you know if I wrote it down, but looking at the photograph of me, it was bringing me back so it was literally I could talk about it and it was coming from the heart, it wasn’t coming from the head.

Interested to do more in UCC: I came to the project because I was thinking I’d find it interesting to do more in College. I was already studying for my Youth and Community diploma so I thought this would be another great opportunity to learn and connect with different people. I think I knew, that it was through Cork Alliance and UCC, so that was really interesting to me.

Making connections and meeting new people: I enjoyed the groups because we were all able to come in with our opinions, what’s not going to work, what is going to work . I wouldn’t change anything anyway, I thought it [the research process] was perfect the way it is. I also really enjoyed meeting up so I suppose and getting to know people because I wouldn’t even have known Keith well even though he would have been kind of linking in and out of here, I got to know Barbara, Ana, I got to know Paul, Katharina.

Building confidence while doing research interviews: Before doing the interviews, I was full of fear, it was like… I mean I know, me and Keith done a practice and I enjoyed that because it was me and Keith but when Katharina said you have to get 3 or 4 or whatever people, it was like ‘ Who am I going to get?’ But then, it was grand, then I think about it because for me it was helping me build my confidence and self-esteem.

Showing people places that were important in my life: What I enjoyed the most were the walks to be honest. It is alright telling people like David Honeywell and Maggie about where I grew up or my life. But through the walks, they have seen it for themselves, it was like telling them they were here like. I think just growing up around the Northside back in the day, there wasn’t much for people compared to now like, whether people take advantage of it or not, I don’t know. I’m going to say there is a lot of services now like but there was no services when I was growing up.

Having conversations with people about my experiences in life: And then I think it was down to the people I was talking to, like you now, Katharina, Maggie. Maggie is very nice too so it was kind of easy, especially with my walk. Now I’ just saying even when I was talking, I wasn’t stuck for words and then if they asked me questions I could answer them easily.

On making people’s voices heard through the peer-to-peer interviews: The research interviews were important because you’re getting people then, the boys, their voices are being heard even if they’re going anonymous, they’re still being heard, because a lot of things are not working well in this country.

Participating in the project to raise awareness on challenges with life after prison: I could think of things that when it was hard for people to get out of prison, a lot of people want to get out of prison and get their lives sorted and get into education and work but when you’re thrown out and there’s nothing set up for you, how is that meant to work out. We don’t speak enough of what happens in those places when people get out of prison. I wanted to raise awareness on this by participating in the project because there’s people I got out with and they’ve passed on, they died because they were left in homeless places and back into addiction they died.

Enjoying learning and getting to know each other: What I enjoyed the most was working with all different people, it was working with people like yourself [Barbara] from UCC and the lecturers, the whole team and the other lads really. And I also really enjoyed the educational part of it as well, putting it together.

On doing research interviews: I found it interesting alright because I never did anything like that before.I know I did a few things in prison in the education courses but I never did anything like that . You’re kind of wondering and are at a loss, what are they [the research participants] going to say here or what’s going on here?

Being mindful when interviewing people with criminal convictions: I learned from one of my interviews that the interview situation can remind people of negative and challenging experiences they had when being interviewed by the Gardai for example. Next time, I would be doing research interviews in a different format, for example while walking with people.

On mapping and walking as a way to convey authentic memories: I actually found it very interesting, it was just a different way of looking at things. It was good we spoke about the mapping and then we did the drawing out of maps of what we were doing in our lives, in prison and when we got out after. What was interesting was that everyone’s maps were different and how it was put together and Maggie was talking about it because it she had done the maps in the past and I know from doing my own maps it was kind of a bit emotional really. It brings you back to that time in your own life, I enjoyed it. When you do the walks, it brings a lot more to it, an authenticity. When you go through it and you’re speaking about areas that you are researching and that mean something to you, it brings a lot more openness.

Working as a team and making a difference: Our project shows people that we can work as a team, that’s what I liked. Our project shows that ex- prisoners can work with people on a level like that, I’m only hoping it will lead to more really. Sometimes even when I was doing the project, I forgot it was about me. Of course it great to learn about myself, but more than that it is also about raising awareness about certain issues. Because when you get out of prison and you want to go back to education or you want to go back to work, there have to be certain supports in place. Being put in certain areas or certain conditions after being released from prison is not helpful. I 150% believe in prison but I also believe in rehabilitation, to have a person when they come out to be a better member of society, that’s what it should be about.

Participatory action research takes time: I was under time pressure to ‘deliver’ this IRC funded research project in 9 months. Building relationships with people and trust when doing this type of research however is so foundational that I need to account for this much better in the future. When you research ‘with’ rather than ‘on’ people, you have to account for more complexity- unexpected learning gaps to be filled (including my own), insecurities to be worked on (including my own!) and above all twists and turns on the road that come when you take everyone’s views on the research process seriously.

You need to stay flexible and go with where participants want to go: When we had thought of this project, we were interested quite specifically in how people after prison access education and employment. However, we wanted this process to be guided by peer researchers with the lived experience of post-prison live themselves. As a result, one of the first realisations was that both peer researchers as well as their interview participants wanted to share more of their life stories, rather than just their experience of education and employment. Firstly, because they thought this was necessary to build rapport with research participants; and second of all because they were adamant that understanding people’s lives before prison would be crucial for understanding opportunities for education and employment after prison.

Emotional experience as you are getting to know people so well and get invested: Researching together with people on a small scale research project like this means that you build relationships, even friendships. This was unexpected and extremely rewarding on the one hand, but it also meant that I was sometimes overwhelmed by emotions- anger and sadness mostly- about the many injustices I heard about. However, I also learned so much from everyone on the project and felt so much appreciated by everyone on our small team, and this kept me going.

Thinking hard about what we expect from our research participants with criminal justice experience: I had this idea of everyone on the team, including myself, to write about a ‘turning point’ story in our lives (inspired by desistance research- in this instance Allen Weaver’s autobiographical writing), so we could create a feeling of ‘reciprocity’- i.e. that we are all sharing something of our past and reflect on what supports we all drew on to achieve these ‘turning points’. We decided in the end as a group that these turning points were to personal and sensitive to share with people outside our group. However, going through the process made me realise first hand how as researchers we tend to ask or ‘extract’ an awful lot from our research participants.

We cannot just say the mantra “by our people, for our people, with our people” we have to live it, we have to honour it and this research shows the importance of it. The nuanced understanding that lived experience brings cannot be taught or brought by others, and this is clear from this participatory action research process.

The importance of relationships, not alone within the team, but also with the people participating in the research is evidenced by the depth of information and the ease and flow of conversations across all the endeavours and areas within this research process. These relationships, together with the relationship between UCC Criminology and the Cork Alliance Centre, are grounded in trust, understanding and a shared vision of the value of the peer-led approach.

The bravery of everyone involved cannot be underestimated:

• The IRC for funding peer research as an innovative approach

• The UCC Criminology Dept for stepping into the challenge of the unknown and working out how best to facilitate it and staying with the process.

• The men who trusted and stepped into the unknown and put their heart and soul in the work, the learnings and the process.

• The much-needed support team who did not just sit on the side-lines and watch but who stepped into the process innovatively and with open hearts and minds.

• The research participants, who gave of themselves solely for the good and betterment of others.

The very doing of this research project in this way, gives me great hope for the voices of our people to be heard and to lead the way not only in how to do better research but also in influencing systemic change.

Working on the Clean Slate project has been an absolute pleasure, it was fun, it was sad, it was reflective, it was active, it was an emotional rollercoaster but the best rollercoaster I have ever been on!

• As a co-researcher on this project, I recognised that people from different backgrounds can come together and work successfully as a team.

• We all learned something new from each other which was critical, and this was a result of ‘sharing’ information, stories, lived experiences…No matter who we are, where we are from, what our class/status is……we all have a story, we all have experienced something in our lives.

• The building of relationships in this project was a key component in its’ success, without trust, good communication, empathy and compassion, the relationships that were being built could not have been sustained.

• Personally, I learned so much from my co-researchers… their honesty, openness and guidance helped me to reflect, understand and even resolve certain situations in my own reality.

• Participatory Action Research as a process empowers, encourages and motivates co-researchers to participate more which in turn produces real stories, real situations, real conversations.

• The challenges that the men faced and continue to face need to be addressed at policy level. Through this research project, the men were trained to become social researchers (which horrified them at the beginning!) and the information they attained through conducting their own interviews was immeasurable… again, real life, real stories, lived experiences.

• Working on this project for over a year has given me much to reflect upon and much to admire. The resilience, honesty, humility and being brave enough to come out of one’s comfort zone and try new ideas, albeit daunting at times, which each co-researcher radiated throughout this project is truly inspirational and I hope it will encourage others to use this process as I believe it has infinite possibilities and I hope to have the opportunity to be involved in this method of research in the future.

What an amazing and an emotional experience. It was an honour to work together with such a wonderful people. Being able to hear other people’s moving stories was very touching. Their struggles and experiences taught me how incredibly resilient they are and had to be to go through so much.

The research has shown me how much stigma and exclusion people with criminal convictions in their past are exposed to. How alone they are in this world but also, we know that if the right support is provided, we can save lives.

The ‘turning point’ part of the research has really connected all of us as a human being despite the profession, age, nationality or gender. Witnessing the physical places along with the story telling pictured for me someone’s experience very vividly. Participating in the project was also for me personally a very emotional journey.